Babies turn into toddlers. Toddlers turn into children. Children turn into teenagers. Teenagers turn into adults. I know this is the natural order of things. Mothers raise their kids to be self sufficient, responsible adults. But, that “new mom” guilt is rising up in me again. Maybe because I’m in a new phase of motherhood. I think I still consider myself a mother of two toddlers because that’s how I see them. I’m loosing that hands-on role I may have complained about years ago…excited that a day would come when they could make their own breakfast on Saturdays and I could sleep in. They still need an attentive mom, but they are growing up and I have to adapt yet again. They are in the beginning stages of building their own lives.
So what does this mean for me? It means I need to accept who I am in their lives now. I shouldn’t feel guilty when they have to spend a day not doing exactly what they want. (That will prepare them for having a family.) I shouldn’t feel guilty when they have to go back to their room over and over to clean it because they continue to clean it half-way. (That will prepare them for having a job.) I shouldn’t feel guilty when I check their homework and tell them to go back and correct the spelling and punctuation. (That will prepare them for high school.) I shouldn’t feel guilty making one compromise their desires for the betterment of their sibling. (That will prepare them for marriage.) I shouldn’t feel guilty when I force them to pick up a mess that they didn’t make. (That will prepare them to be a good friend.) Sometimes at the end of the day I feel like the worst mom in the world because my boys didn’t enjoy their day like they had planned. Or because they got mad at me for asking them to do something they didn’t want to do. Well, as an adult, their day will be full of moments of doing something they didn’t want to do…it’s called responsibility.