Last night I spent at least two hours reading other mom’s blogs. It all started on Pinterest which led me on a rabbit trail from one mom/kid expert to another. People seem to have everything together when they’re writing a blog. One mom refreshingly said to not think that her family is perfect…they’re not always able to stick to their schedule (which was amazing) and that she sometimes has a melt down. I appreciated that honesty. Coming from a mom who homeschools her nine children, she can’t really live in a fantasy world now can she? She even takes an hour to herself every day, half of which is devoted to napping. I think her and I could be friends.
All this blog jumping got me thinking. I was really able to pinpoint some of the feelings and frustrations I have with myself when it comes to mothering. I’ve said from the first day of being a mother that the thing that surprised me the most about motherhood was the amount of guilt I felt. No one ever warned me about that. Little did I know that I would scrutinize every decision I make and begin to compare my mothering to all other mothers. Now, most of that subsided as I got older and came into my own as a mom. I gained confidence as my little men began to reveal their personalities and I began to predict their moods, frustrations and desires.
Moms have to be so hands on when their children are little. We literally follow them around, chase them down if needed, worry about every little cut and bump and we plan our day around their meals and naps. Fast forward 11 years to the present. My little men are 11 and 9. They are very self sufficient. They are growing up before my eyes. But, deep down, there is this little part of me fighting to hang on to my babies. Now, they drive off on their bike to a friends house and I say, “be back in an hour”. Instead of chasing them down, I make them come to me. Most cuts and bumps they can bandage themselves. (If it’s a doozy I still help.) And for the most part their schedule flows around mine. Plus they can make their own food, give themselves a bath and one is even wanting to learn to mow the lawn. When did all this happen?
(Part Two coming Friday, August 3rd)